The Person in The Glass: Reflections on Being True to Yourself
It's the hardest thing to do in life, to be yourself. Our lives are so filled with obligations and realities that we are often forced to change who we are to be accepted and feel good about ourselves. "The Man in the Glass" by Peter "Dale" Wimbrow Sr. was first published in The American Magazine in 1934. It is a powerful and timeless reminder that the most important person to please in life is yourself. Today it would be entitled, “The Person in the Glass” as it clearly applies to each of us, looking at ourselves in the mirror. The poem encourages us to be honest with ourselves, to live with integrity, and to take responsibility for our actions. When we face challenges or temptations, we must look in the mirror and ask ourselves whether we are living up to our own standards. The person in the glass is the only one who truly knows the answer. If we can face ourselves honestly and with integrity, we can be proud of who we are and the choices we have made. If not, we will experience heartache and regret. Here it is slightly rewritten by me:
“The Person In The Glass”
When you get what you want in your struggle for self And the world makes you king for a day, Just go to the mirror and look at yourself And see what that person has to say.
For it isn’t your father, or mother, or wife Whose judgment upon you must pass; The fellow whose verdict counts most in your life Is the one staring back from the glass.
They are the person to please, never mind all the rest, For that person’s with you clear up to the end, And you’ve passed your most dangerous, difficult test If the person in the glass is your friend.
You may be like Jack Horner and chisel a plum, And think you’re a wonderful guy, But the person in the glass says you’re only a bum If you can’t look him straight in the eye.
You can fool the whole world down the pathway of years, And get pats on the back as you pass, But your final reward will be heartaches and tears If you’ve cheated the person in the glass.
The trend of modern society to pile on individuals who step out of the norm is a clear example of the dangers of conformity and the importance of individualism. H. A. Hayek argued that a free and open society requires individuals to have the freedom to pursue their own interests and values, without fear of being ostracized or punished for being different. When we engage in mob mentality or pile on individuals who are different or unconventional, we risk stifling creativity, innovation, and progress. We also run the risk of creating a culture of fear and conformity, where individuals are afraid to express themselves or pursue their own interests and values. I see that more today than at any time I can remember.
Ultimately, the lessons of "The Person in the Glass" and Hayek's ideas on individualism and the dangers of conformity can help us to create a more open and tolerant society, where individuals are free to pursue their own interests and values, without fear of being punished or ostracized for being different. By embracing our own individuality and encouraging others to do the same, we can foster a culture of creativity, innovation, and progress, and build a better future for all. The idea that one should prioritize our own standards over external validation from others is powerful yet difficult to live by. In the age of social media, it can be easy to become obsessed with likes, followers, and external validation.
When my kids and their peers were first getting active in social media, I was concerned about the potential long-term consequences of their online behavior, so I joined too. I remember one young person who was posting the F-word over and over during his freshman year at college. Instead of addressing him directly, I decided to wait until a group of 8 of them were home for summer break and held a cookout. During this time, I shared my own experiences with them and explained how when I was in college at Cornell, we didn't have any of these things, and in some ways, it made things easier. No phones, no cameras, no social media. There was plenty of immature behavior, but in many ways the consequences were less evident. Even so, that inner voice was powerful. Do what’s right even when no one is looking.
I explained the potential risks and rewards of social media, the impact it can have on their reputations, and how important it would be to them as they matured into adults and pursued their professional careers. To my surprise, they really appreciated it and seemed to get it. That one kid who was posting the F-word over and over changed his ways and is now a successful attorney. He is a public defender, representing disadvantaged individuals in the justice system needing defense.
Sharing my own experience with my kids and their friends was a powerful reminder that we need to be mindful of our own online behavior and the messages we are sending to others, both now and in the future. The lessons of "The Person in the Glass" teach me to prioritize my own True North, even in the face of external pressure or criticism. As we navigate the complexities of the digital age, it is more important than ever to stay true to ourselves, both online and offline. This is taking responsibility for our own actions and is the opposite of “virtue signaling” that is so often today's chosen mode of expressing judgment.
Hayek's ideas on the free market can also be applied to social media, as these platforms are often driven by market forces and the desire to generate profits. In this context, we should be encouraging individuals to make informed choices about the content they consume and create on social media, rather than being swayed by algorithms or commercial interests or for that matter, regulating what they see. At the end of the day, it's up to the individual to manage their own affairs, not the state or the corporations. Admittedly easier said than done but Hayek’s quotes are timeless:
"A free society is one where it is safe to be unpopular."
"The Person in the Glass" reminds us that the most important person to please in life is ourselves. The trend of modern society to pile on individuals who step out of the norm highlights the dangers of conformity and the importance of individualism. The lessons of the poem and Hayek's ideas on individualism and the free market can help us create a more open and tolerant society if we are not afraid to speak up. In the age of social media and “want-to-be” thought police, we must prioritize our values and standards over external validation. Sharing my personal experience with my own kids and their peers shows the potential rewards of talking about it and setting an example with our own social media. By educating young people about their online behavior and by being unafraid to stand up to pressure for what is right, we can build a better future for them and all of society.
#TheManInTheGlass #PersonInTheGlass #Individualism #SocialMedia #PrioritizeValues #OnlineBehavior #Hayek #FreeMarket #InformedChoices #twitter #Elon.
What are some strategies you use to stay true to yourself and your values in the face of external pressure or criticism?
Have you or someone close to you ever been the victim of online harassment or cyberbullying? How did you respond to the situation?
How do you think we can strike a balance between the benefits of social media and the potential risks and drawbacks associated with these platforms? Where are we today and is the pendulum swinging in right or wrong direction since Elon bought Twitter?
Have you ever regretted something you said in person? (Of course, we all have). How about something you posted online? How did you handle the situation?
What advice would you give to young people who are just starting to navigate the complex world of social media? Are you setting a good example?